My First Love.

Hello wonderful people,

I trust you’re all doing great…..I know, I know I’ve been away for a while. I’m sorry guys, plenty on my plate (as usual) but I’m here now and I’m going to share with you what God has been saying to me over the past couple of weeks.

Before I go on, I want to say a huge thank you to everyone that showed me love on my birthday. I turned the big 2-5 about two weeks ago and it was just awesome. Thanks for the messages, calls and gifts….you guys truly made my day.

Now onto the real stuff……a couple of weeks ago, Pastor Tony Rapu stopped by at The Waterbrook Church (my church) and shared a scripture that was specifically for me although I didn’t know it at the time. It’s from Revelation 2:2-5 and it goes like this:

I know you works, your labour, your patience and that you cannot bear those who are evil… have persevered and have patience and have labored for my name’s sake and have not become weary. Nevertheless, I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you QUICKLY (emphasis added) and remove your lamp stand from its place – unless you repent.

At the service, I didn’t take much note of the verse but I found out a week later that it had stuck with me for some reason because I was about to read my bible and the verse just came to my head so flipped through my bible and read it again……it still didn’t hit me what God was trying to say to me.

So I came home one day after work and I had all this energy for some reason (which wasn’t normal) and something prodded me to pick up my journal and go through some of my old entries. I flipped immediately to one that I had written in July or August 2013. I had written how I was so busy with my life that my relationship with God and my family was starting to take a backseat. I ended that entry with (I kid you not) “it’s time to go back to my first love”. God had finally gotten my attention.

Until last week, I had been juggling work, choir and studying for CFA. It might not seem like much to many but it was seriously taking it’s toll on me. I was up 4am in the morning so I could be in the office for 6 and get some study time before I needed to face my job. I didn’t have time to spend with my parents during the week and my weekends were taken up with choir, church and studying while trying to catch up on some much needed rest.

My relationship with God was suffering as well; yes I was serving in church but I was too tired to even pray…..just a couple of mumbled sentences and I would go on with my day. I was running on empty and it was starting to show.

I’m so grateful that God got my attention. I’ve taken a few steps to remedy things and things are starting to get much better. I still get up at 4 during the week but I go to bed earlier on previous days and I don’t have to be up early during the weekends because I have taken time off from the choir. It was a very difficult decision for me to make because I felt like I was abandoning God’s work. But God pointed me to the story of Mary and Martha a couple of times. Jesus and His disciples came into the house of Mary and Martha and the bible says that Mary was “distracted with much serving” while Martha “sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word.” You can find the story in Luke 10: 38-42. Martha chastised Mary to Jesus and probably expected to get some backing from Him but Jesus said that Mary had made the right choice.

I also had a choice to make; now please don’t get me wrong, it is possible to serve and sit at Jesus’ feet but there are also times and seasons in life. I know that for now, God wants me to focus on Him and on my upcoming exams and when this season is over, I can go back to serving Him in the choir. There are also other ways I can serve God right now. Writing on this blog to me is an act of service to God. Sharing Him with other people in the way I live my life is also an act of service to Him.

Now the bit about God removing my lamp stand scared me. If there’s one thing I’m scared of; it’s being in opposition with God. I know that the only reason why my life is the beautiful work of art that it is today is because of God and what He has done in and for me. I am his instrument of glory….full stop. But taking away that lamp stand to me meant taking away that glory. Men, I don’t want that glory going anywhere…..I like it just fine where it is, thank you very much. God won’t let me draw far away from Him and let His glory shine on me…..that would be a falsehood of sorts. I would be projecting externally something I wasn’t carrying internally.

So what am I saying today people? I don’t know where you are right now and I may not know what you’re going through but there’s one thing I know for sure; God is speaking loud and clear this season and He is calling us to QUICK obedience. If it’s time for you to draw away from some commitments and spend time at His feet then please do so. There may be many things calling for your attention right now, but nothing is more important than going back to your first love.

Love always,

Grace’s daughter

10 thoughts on “My First Love.

  1. StupendousGrace says:

    My dear, you could literally have written this post for me. I too have struggled with finding the balance especially with exams around the corner and new levels of responsibility all around. I have literally stretched myself to the seams of recent. Thanks, your post just reminds me to concentrate on the One Thing and let all things sort themselves out. To focus on my first love and be sure what is required of me per season. Wishing you more of God’s wisdom dear and you know as always that God has got your back and that I’m seating somewhere in your front row.
    God bless you!

  2. E' says:

    When Eloxie RT’d ds, I knew I wanted to read it. So I clicked and came.
    Funny today, in an online group I formed off my blog, d lady today shared on the Mary and Martha story. And when I added my two cents, I actually mentioned d same thing u did here. Nne ehn, we can actually strike the balance of ‘sit n serve’ and bless those who totally have. But there are also ‘times and seasons’ where we have to FOCUS. For example in that case, JESUS himself was visiting. I don’t think He visited everyday so when He did, your one point agenda shld actually be HIM. Focus on HIM. Ehen, when He leaves, u can start balancing again. Truly there are times when u just wanna step back n just find yourself first/again befor u start giving of yourself.
    I totally love this post and can relate
    Thanks Eloxie for tweeting.
    Will subscribe too
    Here’s to a life of balance darling cos Yes, we can have it all!!!

  3. Faridah says:

    Fantastic post 🙂
    This was very moving for me to read, even though I don’t necessary feel like the main message applies to my life at the moment. But one thing I got from this is that we should always try to create an atmosphere for God to move in our lives and to hear Him speak. If you hadn’t listened to that urge to read through your past journal entries….if you hadn’t been at church that Sunday to listen to Pastor Tony’s message….if you hadn’t opened up your Bible to read through it… might have missed this vital message from God.
    One thing I’m going to endeavor to do during this Lenten period is to wake up 30mins earlier each morning to pray and meditate. And I’m really looking forward to seeing how this little change would impact my day and my relationship with God.

  4. Okiki Marinho says:

    Your writing style is very engaging. Can’t believe it has taken me this long to read your blog and comment. The reason for this is ironically enough related to this post. I’m usually so shattered after work lifting a glass to drink water becomes a chore. I am learning to prioritise better hence why I have a bit of time to read this. God bless you dear.

  5. Christain chic. says:

    Hmmm,bin struggling wif prayers too for smtime,twas more like I wz working for God nd I wasn’t walking with .Buh av made the greatest decision in my life,never to fix God in my schedule buh to create my schedule around him.Fellowshipping with the father z not an alternative,its a must.nice post,nice blog.(Following alwedi).More grace

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